Post by ✪ anya chekov on Apr 3, 2012 0:13:17 GMT -5
Something I found on another site.... SOOOOOOOOOO funny
Dear Princess,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the Elton John concert and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your toe-ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.
Your Everlasting Enemy,
Mikki
Your turn!
Dear (someone you recently talked to)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -our romance is over
Green- our socks don't match
Grey - you're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - that night you picked your nose
February -when I quoted Forest Gump
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on peanut butter
May - when I threw up in your sock drawer
June - when you put cuffs on me
July – when you smacked my ass
August - when I saw the purple monkey
September - last year when you peed your pants
October - when we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - when your dog humped my leg
December - when I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Chicken- in your car
Pasta - outside of your office
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad – as you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - in your closet
Kebab - with Jean Chrétien
Fish - in a clown suit
Sandwiches - at the Elton John concert
Pizza - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a street light
Annat- with George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - ignore
Red - put whipped cream on
Black - hit on
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the pants off of
Barefoot - sit on
Other - drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my boyfriend
White - my father
Grey – the Catholic Priest
Brown – the Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - my corned beef hash
Red – my knee caps
Blue - my salt-beef bucket
Yellow - my illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - Blink 182 cd
Pink – your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Green - The cop car
Other --the elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - senile
Heroes- frostbitten
Lost - high
Simpsons- cowardly
The news - scarred
American Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - open
Top Model - middle-class
Annat -shamed
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful you are
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - that your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – that we’re related
Excited - that I may pee my pants
Nervous - the middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - that your Ford sucks
Apathetic - that you need a sex-change
Silly - that I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - that Santa doesn't exsist
Ashamed - that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Stressed - that explosives are not an option
Other - that your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your toe ring
Yellow - your love letters to me
Red - the pictures from Vegas
Black - your pet rock
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your nose hair clippers
Grey - our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your Hannah Montana underwear
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - my virginity
C/D - your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - your neighbors dog
G/H - the oil tank from your car
I/J - your left ear
K/L - the results of that blood-sample
M/N - your glass eye
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X – your sucide note
Y/Z - your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - always will remember the pep talks
E/F -never will forget that night
G/H – will not tell the authorities you stole the whale from the back yard.
I/J – mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - hate your cooking
M/N - told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - always wanted to break your legs
S/T - get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Milk - the apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my ass as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – you ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – you should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
Brazil- Don't cry for me
Dear Princess,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the Elton John concert and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your toe-ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.
Your Everlasting Enemy,
Mikki
Your turn!
Dear (someone you recently talked to)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -our romance is over
Green- our socks don't match
Grey - you're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - that night you picked your nose
February -when I quoted Forest Gump
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on peanut butter
May - when I threw up in your sock drawer
June - when you put cuffs on me
July – when you smacked my ass
August - when I saw the purple monkey
September - last year when you peed your pants
October - when we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - when your dog humped my leg
December - when I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - in your apartment
Chicken- in your car
Pasta - outside of your office
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad – as you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - in your closet
Kebab - with Jean Chrétien
Fish - in a clown suit
Sandwiches - at the Elton John concert
Pizza - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a street light
Annat- with George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - ignore
Red - put whipped cream on
Black - hit on
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the pants off of
Barefoot - sit on
Other - drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - my boyfriend
White - my father
Grey – the Catholic Priest
Brown – the Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - my corned beef hash
Red – my knee caps
Blue - my salt-beef bucket
Yellow - my illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - Blink 182 cd
Pink – your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Green - The cop car
Other --the elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - senile
Heroes- frostbitten
Lost - high
Simpsons- cowardly
The news - scarred
American Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - open
Top Model - middle-class
Annat -shamed
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - how awful you are
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - that your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – that we’re related
Excited - that I may pee my pants
Nervous - the middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - that your Ford sucks
Apathetic - that you need a sex-change
Silly - that I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - that Santa doesn't exsist
Ashamed - that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Stressed - that explosives are not an option
Other - that your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your toe ring
Yellow - your love letters to me
Red - the pictures from Vegas
Black - your pet rock
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - your car
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your nose hair clippers
Grey - our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your Hannah Montana underwear
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - my virginity
C/D - your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - your neighbors dog
G/H - the oil tank from your car
I/J - your left ear
K/L - the results of that blood-sample
M/N - your glass eye
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X – your sucide note
Y/Z - your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - always will remember the pep talks
E/F -never will forget that night
G/H – will not tell the authorities you stole the whale from the back yard.
I/J – mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - hate your cooking
M/N - told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - always wanted to break your legs
S/T - get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Milk - the apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my ass as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – you ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – you should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
Brazil- Don't cry for me